“Am I Creating Bad Sleep Habits?”—What to Know About Nursing to Sleep in the Newborn Stage
If you're holding your sleepy newborn close and wondering, "Am I setting myself up for trouble later?"—you’re not alone.
I recently received two thoughtful messages from new moms:
“I have a 3-week-old. At what age do you recommend not nursing baby to sleep? I don’t want her to develop the same sleep habits her brother had—we needed your help to break those at 9 months!” – Lindsey
“Our daughter is 1 month old and I’m trying to find the fine line between nurturing her and giving her chances to build self-soothing skills. I know she needs us now, but I want to stay ahead of the curve. When should we begin encouraging independent sleep?” – Laurie
These are such important questions—so let’s talk about it.
The First Few Weeks: Prioritize Feeding & Attachment
In the first 6 weeks, your focus should be on:
Establishing a healthy feeding relationship
Learning your baby’s cues
Supporting your recovery
Building secure attachment through closeness and responsiveness
Nursing or bottle-feeding to sleep is completely developmentally appropriate during this time.
Babies are biologically wired to feed and rest in cycles that are irregular and need-based. This is often referred to as the “nesting phase”—a time of intense closeness, frequent feeding, and cuddling that lays the foundation for future sleep rhythms.
So if your baby falls asleep at the breast (or bottle) after a full feed? That’s okay.
It’s normal. It’s nurturing. It’s exactly what they need right now.
What Happens Around 6 Weeks?
By 6–8 weeks, most babies begin to show readiness for more predictable rhythms.
This doesn’t mean sleep training. It means gently shifting toward a “feed upon waking” routine, where you offer milk:
First thing in the morning
After naps
At the start of your bedtime routine
During one or two night wakings
This approach supports:
Efficient feeding (baby is hungrier and more alert at the beginning of a wake window)
More restful sleep (less feeding-to-sleep association over time)
Your own nourishment and rhythm (you’re not feeding constantly on top of tired cues)
What About Teaching Self-Soothing?
The idea of “teaching self-soothing” in newborns is often misunderstood.
Self-soothing is not a skill babies are expected to master in the early months.
It’s something they build toward gradually through:
Repeated, predictable rhythms
Calm and responsive caregiving
Safe, regulated sleep environments
The chance to experience small amounts of quiet alert time in their sleep space
If your 4–6 week old is drowsy but not fully asleep after a feed, it’s okay to try placing them in their bassinet and observe. If they fuss or stir, stay close and offer comfort.
Over time, these gentle transitions can plant the seeds for falling asleep without being fully reliant on feeding, rocking, or bouncing.
But there’s no pressure to force it. This isn’t a window that’s closing. It’s a skill that unfolds over time.
What You Can Do Now
Respond to your baby’s cues. They’re still learning how to regulate.
Keep feeding to sleep if it’s working—but begin to notice moments when they might not need it.
Around 6–8 weeks, consider feeding at the beginning of wake windows to help separate hunger from tiredness.
Focus on connection and rest—for both of you.
Let Go of the Pressure
The first few months are full of noise—books, blogs, reels, advice that makes you second-guess what you’re doing.
But if what you’re doing is nurturing, responsive, and feels right—you’re on the right path.
And if it’s not feeling sustainable anymore? That’s when support can help.
My approach is never about pushing your baby beyond what they’re ready for. It’s about supporting your whole family with rhythms that honor development, protect connection, and build confidence along the way.
You’re Not Behind—You’re Just Beginning
If you're reading this while holding your newborn and wondering whether you're doing it "right"—take a deep breath.
You're doing exactly what your baby needs right now.
And when you're ready to take the next step toward more restful sleep, I'm here to guide you—one gentle shift at a time.
Need a personalized roadmap as your baby grows?
Let’s talk.
📞 Book your free 15-minute consultation
You're not alone, and you're not doing it wrong.
You're learning together—and that's exactly how it’s meant to be.